2 Weeks Later
The final step was the first step.
its been two weeks since the show
it was amazing. My piece had its own lil part of the wall. Everyones art was beautiful, alive, and flowing. The vibes were immaculate. So many people I knew online were there, and meeting them was such an out of body experience. Like there’s actually ppl behind the pixels?? wild. There was a lil table some canvases that a bunch of ppl started doodling on, a lil bar/food area, digital displays, a cool lil middle room, a dude who made pancakes that look liked pals art, and blunts on blunts (i don’t smoke bc i will b counting floor tiles for an hour but the vibe was top tier lmao). and the best part - nobody hated me at first? its almost like the stories i made up in my head were based on absolutely nothing?? Id even say we all vibes out and it was too fun?? will b making up more stories in my head ofc but this one was thankfully proven false :’) its been amazing seeing everyone, and the love in the room was nearly tangible.
I hung out w a lot of the artist I met too. While my comfort zone was soooo comfy like im sure there was a futon in there i mean it was toooo cozy, it was beyond time for me to move on and up. there’s a lot that I could’ve done better i feel, but ofc, there always will be, and the steps I’ve made have been so vast.
Now that its been two weeks, I’ve a new kind of feeling that im not sure how to describe. I feel both full and hollow (is it ibs?? maybe cuz I had a marg last night??). proud that I finished, but also fully fiending for the next step. somewhere between the end and the beginning. There’s a few things happening in new york soon that I def plan on going to, and im beyond ready to see everyone again. but something feels off. anticipation? excitement? maybe i feel a bit robotic? liminal? I feel ready tho. I think I j wanted to make stronger connections w ppl, but that doesn’t happen in a day. I have an energy source rn that I can’t identify. its a good one but this’ll be my life task at hand rn. I think i just want more shows lmao
this turned more into a journal entry than a newsletter, but i think its fine. I was either expecting to feel burnout or pure joy, but there always is a mysterious third thing.
ofc, much love,
ps. i can’t tell if this is a happy or pondering sounding email but it rly did go well and im rly happy w this new unidentifiable outcome. I’ve a show in nyc in april and i will absolutely b there. need to get my shmoney up tho (will absolutely b happening.)
pps. i graduate in less than two months but I wanna drop out soooo badddd it is way it is tho im j a certified bag fumbler I’ve flopped so many things last minute but I rebuke these old toxic patterns <3
omg and a new stopmotion series about the cyclical pattern of life? wowww so clay so slay
shoutout https://burritodao.xyz/ <3