I had a lil housewarming with my roommates and our friends recently, and I brought out the tarot cards.
Y’all know I like the woowoo, for better or worse. But I think they provide a good reflection of aspects of ourselves we don’t rly recognize. And it’s cool asf when they actually line up with reality clearly. After doing a few readings for the homies, I threw some cards out for me. 10 of wands, 5 of wands reversed, and a 10 of swords. Not great tbh.
basically, the
10 of wands = overburdened
5 of wands reversed = negotiation
10 of swords = total failure/collapse.
and it’s basically the recipe for how I’ve been brewing these past weeks here. ie im doing too much, and negotiating where I can put more time into things at the cost of other matters (mainly health/sleep/sanity) will lead to a collapse of my self. Per my last email (ya I work in a cubicle now) y’all heard me being overly inspired. And now I have become overly committed. In true Raz fashion, I have spread myself too thin. It’s another moment of expansion and contraction that I constantly run into. But now what?
Basically, I wanted to:
Make a stopmotion series
Start woodworking comissions
Start personal woodworking pieces (2 a month)
Set up my website/notion again
Go to the gym regularly
Go to work in time
Go out w old friends
Make new friends
Date😩
Go to art galleries/museums
Use the blockchain more
Start a fundraiser-focused archive within web3
Eat healthy
Consistent Journaling
Keep up a social media presence as more of a public record of art than a content creation platform (I’m such a slût for public records of personal data icl)
In reality:
Make a stopmotion series
Start woodworking comissions
Start personal woodworking pieces (2 a month)Set up my website/notion againGo to the gym regularlyehhhhh my schedule shifts from a 9-5 to 10-6 so I can’t do mornings like that anymore but ehGo to work on time LMFAOOOOOOOOGo out w old friends YAYYYYY
Make new friends YIPPEE
Date🤨😔 my hinge likes have crawled on earth no shadeGo to art galleries/museums YAIGHHHH
Use the blockchain moreStart a fundraiser-focused archive within web3
this is super duper shelved but a path to some revolutionary shit has appeared, and now I will network my way to a new world #no small thoughts #smallthoughtskillbigthoughts #bigthoughtskillsmallthoughts #allthoughtsmatterEat healthy (honestly, could use more diversity but it hasn’t been too bad)
Keep up a social media presence as more of a public record of art than a content creation platform (I’m such a slût for public records of personal data icl) (I’ve been posting delirium)(not much on ig tho)
Decimating my GI track cuz bro shitting on a timeline is so stressful but thank god for lunch breaks ive committed felonies in those bathrooms
Journaling has been sporadic, but I’ve prioritized sleep over it which is technically good
I do not sleep
I went shopping and that was so stressful omg
so basically I’ve been moving but not making as much art as I want. And I feel a huge disconnect from social media too; I only see Palestine, not as much art. I think I need to start trimming things from life now. I have energy for creation building up, and it’s time to constrict.
So now:
Stopmotion series. Mint some in the blockchain for not-sale, and then a series for sale. I’ve been making art specifically about Palestine, and i dont think i will sell those for personal funds, but I do have some ideas on modern colonialism/erasure that i wanna make art for to sell.
Get this commission done, and then leave the medium for a bit. I miss my wood😔🫃🏻
Limit friending stuff. Twice a week? Unless it’s specific to making art? It’s tough cuz this is something I rly wanted. Damn idk maybe I’ll just do the less cost intensive vibes. hmmmm
Protest. There’s an art making event that happens regularly and I’ve an idea w some stamps that could b a lil🤪
Eat. sleep. journal. schedule.
look at more art. I set up my screensavers to cycle thru a lot of artists Im a fan of rn, and its been a great way to study art at work. every day is a gallery tour
I titled this email box breath to understand that not everything can be done at once, and there must be parts of the process to be.. just getting there? idk if i like how this is worded but it feels profound ish lmfao. I love the pressure but hate it’s effects, but i need to relax. or at least channel. but maybe im just negotiating things that I don’t have control over rn lmao. tonight, ill shower+set up for a stopmotion in the next few days. I don’t know how to feel about much currently, but i am anticipating heavier days ahead. next week is strictly for the art.
wish me luck yall
bless
Faraz
ps i am trying to be a book reader on the train sooooo baddd but fawk im not even reading im just looking at words like “damn i wish i understood this rn”
pss. I had a housewarming! i rarely have invited guests into my house for most of my life so this was rly cool. I wanna throw a lil shindig w yall omg
pspsps mashallah ive been to like 5 middle eastern markets and still havent found a good tea brand what r yall doing omg. wheres the biscuits? where the candy? wheres everything?? its a different part of the middle east but like what happened to trade routes wtf
one day ima send an email that isnt just a bunch of lists but until then lmaoooo
omg look a website