The Sun in my Room
its so bright its blinding?
Omg hiiiii
It’s been too long
A show in DC. A residency in Manhattan. Commissions. Many handhelds. Website updates. It’s been a time fr. I’m now a full time artist! For better or worse lmao. Or just for now. Regardless, it’s here. And that’s that.
I’ve gotten control of my days again - I go to the gym, cook food, see friends. I’ve had more time for art, and seeing art as well. Lots of content creation (for me at least). It’s been great honestly.
The biggest change has been trying to find my fire again. When I was working, I knew what had to be done, and I put the time in based on my work schedule. Some days were for cleaning, some were for seeing friends, and some were art (and admin stuff ofc). But now it’s all up in the air. There’s no pressure and I have the space I always wanted to create. Which is kinda terrifying?
So far there’ve been high energy days, low energy days. Days with no art, days with all art. Too many video games tho which helps nobody smh. I’m not even good at them so it’s j infuriating lmao. It’s all time management vs energy management- as someone who prefers to go all in on stuff this is making me feral.
It helps knowing there’s different ways to work on my art career though. Between my handhelds, personal pieces, outreach, finding footage, researching, grant applications, sculpting, and animating, there’s a lot to pick from. They’re all fun too. It’s a different kind of challenge. I’m just learning how short days are now.
I have a bad habit of letting my personal joys and responsibilities escape me though. I don’t journal as much now. My place is a bit of a mess. I miss writing these newsletters. There’s just so much to do even if it feels like nothing. It’s these tasks that building blocks that make it hard- I want a visable return, and it’s something I know I can get. It’s a bizarre feeling.
Ultimately I’m bewildered. All the doors are open, and each takes me where I want to go. It’s not giving Sylvia Plath fig tree - doors don’t close by picking one option. The same doors are on the other side of any direction I go now. And it’ll be infinite. Maybe doors aren’t a good analogy, but it feels like I’ve entered a room with everything I want to do, but there’s a window to what life used to be, and a window to a room that’s just easy to look through forever, ignoring the fact that everything I want to do is with me now. It’s a beautiful view to look into a life I don’t want to live though. It looks peaceful and stable.
Alas, not for me yall lmao
This room I’m in is what I want, with all the trials involved with it.
Cheers,
Faraz
Ps updated prices of my illustrations, check it out if y want a little part of my rom for yourself😳
pss I made a sculpture from my piece “Estuary” and it is now live on my website for collection! If there’s another animation you want a sculpture from lmk, I’ll be making sculptures from my animations moving forward.
PeaS my goal is to get hella collaborations and commissions this year - if yall know anybody who would be interested, lmk or send them my way; truly open to anything, even if it makes no sense lol
PiS i made a youtube! will be posting stories and stuff abt these events/projects there!
omg a store link?